Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize