Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
In America we eat man semen.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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