There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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