The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She told me I should be a condom model.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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