I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just threw up on my dentist
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize