So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize