He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize