So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if you like me you must not know who I am
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
