I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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