You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize