I hope mine doesn't look like that
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize