I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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