I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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