You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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