What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize