Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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