Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize