halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize