I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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