Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize