The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize