im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize