I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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