bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
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well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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