Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

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  (804): she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off. http://tfl.nu/ypig
  Replies (27) Good night (5805) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?

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  (314): Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me? http://tfl.nu/x7by
  Replies (35) Good night (2298) Bad night (9929) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through

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  (512): and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through http://tfl.nu/6tx9
  Replies (14) Good night (5233) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.

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  (919): If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today. http://tfl.nu/n74k
  Replies (8) Good night (618) Bad night (2286) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.

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  (207): I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over. http://tfl.nu/vji8
  Replies (10) Good night (1379) Bad night (2910) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  #1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home

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  (859): #1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home http://tfl.nu/wpbx
  Replies (16) Good night (3258) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call

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  (330): I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call http://tfl.nu/x7fj
  Replies (10) Good night (1829) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?

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  (+61): i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that? http://tfl.nu/m9eq
  Replies (6) Good night (2206) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.

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  (318): If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night. http://tfl.nu/4uhw
  Replies (6) Good night (1686) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (776): View more from

  My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.

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  (776): My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today. http://tfl.nu/rxf7
  Replies (0) Good night (958) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.

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  (330): He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet. http://tfl.nu/wg57
  Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I can dry shave vagina like a champ

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  (512): I can dry shave vagina like a champ http://tfl.nu/x1sm
  Replies (20) Good night (498) Bad night (1694) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.

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  (270): I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde. http://tfl.nu/pj3w
  Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.

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  (614): The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception. http://tfl.nu/6prr
  Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (209)
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  (315): View more from New York

  New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..

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  (315): New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own.. http://tfl.nu/1bvs
  Replies (5) Good night (139) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt

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