i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize