they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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