If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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