She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
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i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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