Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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