Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize