Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize