The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize