he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
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So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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