allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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