I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
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That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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