i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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