bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize