At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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