Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
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okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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