Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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