Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can you bring me the toilet please
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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