Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
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no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
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I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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