The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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