I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
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She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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