If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize