chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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