"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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