If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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