What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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